Sunday, 20 January 2013

What the f*** is that in your freezer??!?

In my freezer you'll find the basic essentials of life (bear in mind this is just my little fridge freezer; I also have a pretty serious industrial freezer big enough to hide a pair of bodies that I found on the side of the road that is host to a many more exciting frozen goods... no bodies though):

Fish fingers. Obviously.

Lots of ice-cream. Of both the Italian and dairy-free varieties.

Black Cow vodka. Seriously good stuff. Made by a friend of mine in Dorset, this is the world's first vodka made from pure milk. Seriously good stuff.

A sandwich bag full of crochet granny squares. Whaaaaaat?! 

Truth is, I got moths.

I started crocheting these squares in the Summer, using my many, many random balls of DK yarn with which I don't yet have the patience to knit something real, but always seem to buy from sale bins or discontinued stock. A technicolour granny square blanket along these lines seemed the obvious fate for those poor lonesome yarns. 

After a slowish start, I really got into the swing of things as Autumn turned to Winter when I was given a beautiful yarn basket from a beautiful friend for my birthday. I knew immediately that that would be the official granny square blanket basket. So things were going great... and then I went away after Christmas for a couple of weeks... the moths saw their opportunity, moved in and got busy.

Anyone who knits/sews/owns cashmere will know that it's not the fully grown moths that chomp away on your best woollens, but in fact their larvae. Their pesky, greedy, good for nothing offspring. Killing moths as and when you see them is obviously a good preventative (extreme moth contraception), but what you really want to do is actually stop them f***ing in your stash. This time I was too late. When you find those white wispy strands of moth larvae the only thing for it is to get that shit in the freezer. That's the only way to kill them.

I have not been put off by this little hurdle however, and I am full steam ahead with operation Technicolour Granny Blanket Stash-Bust and hope to have all 432 - yes, four hundred and thirty-two - squares done and joined for next Winter. In the meantime, as a precautionary measure, each square I complete is immediately relocated to a sandwich bag in the freezer until further notice.

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